Link – Depression – I Can’t Enjoy the Good Things

ByMikeM Reading Time: 1 minute

I love good things theoretically, but with depression, I can’t enjoy the good things. Most people don’t get this. Most people can’t conceptualize of this. But even when good (recently great) life events occur, I just don’t feel pleasure (Depression Is Not Sadness). I can’t enjoy the good things when I’m depressed.

This is truly one of the things many people misunderstand about depression. Feeling sad when something sad happens, is normal. That’s not depression. When that happens, you grieve, you move on, and you then focus on the future and the good things in your life. Telling someone with depression to look forward to good things is a good way to completely minimize what they are dealing with, because often even those “good” things bring no pleasure.

That’s not a normal reaction, and why it’s such an insidious disease. It’s hard to feel like there’s hope when you don’t actually enjoy anything.

But, it’s a lie. There is hope, and you can eventually enjoy life again.

http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2016/11/depression-i-cant-enjoy-the-good-things/

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As you know, I’ve been quick to share links and even write about what your depressed friends need, and how to help people struggling with their own mental health. What I’ve come to realize more and more is that I am also struggling, and failing at being a very good friend for many of these same reasons. I’m burned out, I’m tired, I have little mental energy beyond just getting through each workday, and taking care of myself, for reaching out, chatting, or virtually meeting up with people.

In short, I am experiencing exactly what Annie is talking about. I want to reach out and be supportive to my friends, but I haven’t recognized my own struggles. No, I don’t believe I am depressed in a major way, but I’m definitely suffering from anxiety, stress, and it’s exhausting me.

That makes it hard to be the supportive one in any relationship, even though I want to be.

To combat that, I’m going to be reviewing this article a few times, and thinking about how I might still be supportive, and how maybe people in my life be supportive of each other.

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I’m not a researcher but these two facts make me wonder if there’s not something we can do.

If we have a list of “nudges” that can help people feel like they belong or help educate people about things like safety plans, etc. and we don’t know who is at risk and which nudge might help them, maybe we should just continue to generally be kind to the people around us. That means trying to understand what makes them feel supported, connected, etc., and doing those things consistently. It also means noticing if a “nudge” has the opposite effect, and trying something different instead.

Help people feel like they belong, educate people about prevention resources, help them stay connected to family and friends, involve them, accept them, etc.

Help your friends and loved ones by communicating the kinds of things that help you. When you feel disconnected or like you are a burden, what can they do to keep you connected? What things do they do that make it worse?

When we don’t talk about these things we only make it worse, and we only continue to lose more people. We have to learn how to have these conversations. We have to be open to listening to the people closest to us and connecting to them without stigma and judgment. The researchers will keep working to learn more about prevention, but in the meantime simply caring about each other and being honest with each other is the best tool we have. We should use it.

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