Drew didn’t necessarily write this for abuse survivors, but I can’t help but feel like the advice here goes two, three, four fold for survivors:
“It is worth acknowledging a lot of our old blueprint emerged as self-protection. Created during a time when being turned down by someone you had a crush on hurt to the core. Or when kids laughing at you felt like the most shameful experience you could ever imagine. As children a lot of things seemed like the end of the world, but as adults they’re not even close. If a person you like turns you down, that’s okay. If other people laugh at you for making a mistake, you’ll survive just fine. You really don’t have to follow the same program over and over, you can change it. “
It’s hard, and scary, to make these kinds of changes. We believe the things we do for a reason, and that reason had a lot to do with surviving that abuse. That doesn’t make it true though. Changing those beliefs will take work. It’s not, however, impossible. Some real world advice like this can help.