I love this whole article from Terry because this was the one concept that kind of put me over the hump in therapy:
“We find our voice and suddenly realize: we get to be whoever we decide we want to be.”
When my therapist first asked me that question, “what do you want your life to be”, I didn’t have an answer. She had worked with me through trauma and a bunch of other things, and then switched to this, helping me to figure out what that looked like, how to ignore all of the other things pulling at me, the things I “should” be, or that other people wanted me to be, and focus solely on answering that question for myself, alone.
That work was the thing that healed me more than anything else, and that work is the thing I return to every time things are difficult, or I am faced with a decision. What do I want. Not what will help my career, or what will make my friends think well of me, but what life do I want, and who do I want in it.
There is no more important thing for us to know, but also maybe nothing more easy to ignore in the midst of the noise of our current world.
Go read the whole thing and spend some time thinking about these issues in your own life.