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Some Reality About Loving a Survivor
It is true. As much as you might love your partner and want to support them, there are ripple effects that impact well beyond the individual survivor. Those ripple effects are painful, and we can acknowledge that pain without diminishing the pain of being the direct victim. All of it sucks, and all of it is the fault of the abuser.
There’s no one else to blame, just a lot of people left to struggle. Let’s do what we can to support all of them.
Sharing – Mental Health: When People Tell You How They Feel, Believe Them.
It’s not just saying I believe you when someone tells you they are struggling with depression or anxiety. It’s all of the subtle ways we show them that we don’t believe them. The “But you don’t look”, the “you’ll be fine”, the toxic positivity, the refusal to change your own behavior in supportive ways, etc., do just as much damage. They send the message that we don’t believe what you just said is serious enough to warrant doing anything differently.
Is that the message you want to send someone who trusted you enough to admit they are struggling with you? That their struggles aren’t valid enough for you to do anything differently?
Links I’m Sharing (weekly)
Are you feeling lonely? Is Now a Good Time to Try Telehealth or Online Therapy? How to get free therapy during the COVID-19 pandemic Alone, Together: Why It’s Physical Distancing, Not Social Distancing How to Get the Mental Health Care You Need During COVID-19 Mental Health in Times of Crisis Healing from Sexual Violence: How…
Reviews Elsewhere – She (used to refer to a woman, or girl) by Natasha MacFarlane
Over at the Mental Health at Home blog, Ashleyleia has a review of this book of poetry: The book is a story of She and her struggle with mental illness demons, told in poetic form. It covers a number of common themes that occur in mental illness, including the relentless attack of inner demons while…
