I have two takeaways after reading the rest of the article.
1. Difficult things seem easier when there is someone with us. The lack of friendships can make life seem more difficult than it really is. When life seems too difficult, we might be more likely to give up, or for the stress to have health impacts that lower our life expectancy.
2. The best thing you can do for someone struggling is simply showing up beside them.
I appreciate the fact that this therapist recognizes how difficult it is to come forward with these things because it does take a lot to talk about it, especially the first time you tell someone.
At the same time I wonder how differently we might look at ourselves as we try to heal if we knew that we were the 4th or 5th person who talked to that one therapist about being sexually abused that day?
It’d be hard to feel alone, for one, right?
The article goes on to discuss the various ways those emotions we are trying to avoid by always being positive are actually good for us. How sitting with and processing those emotions help us learn and grow.
Of course, the one thing I will say about that is this. Be prepared to do that work alone, or very nearly alone. The world is full of people who are not comfortable with their pain, sadness, grief, etc., and refuse to do anything but “be grateful.” They also have zero tolerance for other people “bringing them down” with their own emotions.
These people are not capable of being a support to anyone else. The refusal to acknowledge the entirety of human emotion makes them utterly incapable of sitting with someone in their pain. Sadly, as these ideas have gained popularity, they have also limited our support networks. They have created a shortage of people who will sit with us.
“Portraits and Biographies of Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse” tags: CA ChildAbuse 10 Compassionate Ways to Support Loved Ones Suffering from Depression tags: CA Depression Powerful Photos of Sex Abuse Survivors tags: CA ChildAbuse 10 Things You Should Never Say To Someone With Depression tags: CA Depression FIFA’s new mental health research project is…
I’ve written many times about how abused children spend so much of our childhood simply trying to survive, that we miss out learning things that we should have as a kid. NAMI writer Laura Greenstein feels that when it comes to taking care of our mental health, all children are missing out: During childhood, we…