Survivors

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Sharing – I’m NOT going to heal everything
ByMikeM October 31, 2023November 3, 2023 Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s all forward-looking. It celebrates how far I’ve come without constantly constantly reminding myself of what I haven’t done. In Todd’s words, it allows me to simply be human, like every other adult. In the end, isn’t that what we all want, to not see ourselves as the freak abuse survivor, but as an adult like other adults? With strengths and weaknesses, with quirks, and with success alongside failures?

We need to let ourselves be human and create a life where we can feel safe to be human.

Read More Sharing – I’m NOT going to heal everything
Weekly Links

Shared Links (weekly) Oct. 29, 2023
ByMikeM October 29, 2023October 28, 2023 Reading Time: 1 minute
Read More Shared Links (weekly) Oct. 29, 2023
Links

John Stamos is 60 and Just Now Revealing his Sexual Abuse
ByMikeM October 18, 2023October 18, 2023 Reading Time: 2 minutes

I know that I’ve talked before about survivors not coming forward for years, and how this is especially true for men, who typically don’t disclose to anyone until their 50s. In a recent interview with People, John Stamos briefly talks about his own experience with child abuse, and I want you to pay close attention to the reasons he didn’t tell anyone until now:

Read More John Stamos is 60 and Just Now Revealing his Sexual Abuse
In the News

Why Advocates Should Think Twice About Laws They Support
ByMikeM September 30, 2023September 30, 2023 Reading Time: 4 minutes

Law enforcement officials don’t just want to be able to scan for CSAM. That’s the excuse to get the public to buy into mass surveillance. “It’s for the kids” is disingenuous. It’s not for the kids to them, it’s to open the door to the police, and anyone with some skill, to watch ALL of our communication and use it in any way they see fit.

Yes, that will include that cop who’s a little too friendly with the teens in the neighborhood, the one abusing his wife, or the one stalking an ex. It’ll also include officials with political leanings spying on opponents, dictators with unfettered access to all communication coming and going to their citizens, and hackers getting access to blackmail material.

All of it. Out there for anyone with the keys to see, store, and use as they see fit.

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Links

Book Review of Sorts – Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away
ByMikeM August 21, 2023August 19, 2025 Reading Time: 2 minutes

For many survivors, their definition of healed automatically becomes a goal that can never be reached. We should quit trying to “be the person I was before the abuse” because it’s impossible. By setting that as our pass/fail goal, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of falling short, instead of a lifetime of celebrating the gap between where we started and where we are today. We also never find a better goal that is more realistic.

Please, take a good look at how you are defining healed. More importantly, don’t lose sight of the amount of healing and growth that you’ve already done. Be proud of it. This is your life, it’s not a pass/fail exam. It’s so much bigger than that.

Read More Book Review of Sorts – Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away
In the News

I Started Healing When I Convinced Myself I was Safe Now, What About People Who Aren’t Safe?
ByMikeM July 27, 2023July 12, 2025 Reading Time: 2 minutes

Casey calls out those of us who would say “love is love” and support our LGBTQ friends and family members without standing up and doing what we can to actually make this world safer for them. I’ll go one further. If we want to call ourselves mental health advocates and advocates for trauma survivors we need to do what we can to push for a world that is safe for everyone. We can’t heal when we don’t feel safe, and for too many people in this world, they have no reason to feel safe.

We need to advocate for a world that is safe for them too.

Read More I Started Healing When I Convinced Myself I was Safe Now, What About People Who Aren’t Safe?