Marj has managed to piece together the December edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse just in time for the holidays. As always, it looks like there’s some god reading going on over there, including some posts from folks that I’ve been getting to know over at the Child Abuse Survivor Network, which has been a great experience in just the couple of weeks it’s existed! Please, come on over and join the community!
There is some good advice in the article about how to create, and maintain, healthy boundaries with a variety of toxic parent “types”, but I will always fall back on one fact of life as a survivor of childhood abuse, we came out of childhood with no idea of what a boundary is, let alone why we would create one. We were never given the opportunity to learn or practice this skill.
It’s OK if it takes us a minute to figure it out before we get it right.
I will admit, in healthcare, these two types of narrative incoherence could cause a problem. How would a medical professional move forward with a diagnosis when our response to the first question is to dump an overwhelming amount of possibly relevant, possibly not, information, or to dismiss any symptoms? It really would be difficult to know. We know that the folks who get to the quickest, and best, healthcare are the ones who come in with details like what is wrong, how long it’s been going on, what happened previously to an illness or injury, etc. Trauma survivors typically struggle with exactly that.
This is only one way where not being able to tell a story in a coherent, effective, way hurts survivors. It blocks us from legal proceedings, as I said before, and it blocks us from being understood by those closest to us quite often. So, if you really want to connect with others, and maybe get better healthcare, learn to tell stories. That’s how the world communicates. But, if you’re confronted with someone who is struggling to tell a coherent story, consider what kind of trauma they may be dealing with, and have a little patience.
These stories are important, because it’s not the same story that people have come to expect about a man abusing a child. They’re the kind of stories that remind us that abusers come in all variations, and we should not assume that children are necessarily safe because the person they are with doesn’t “look” like…
It may not be the only thing we need to do in terms of combating child abuse, but there is simply nothing more important than this: “Clearly, parents need to prepare children for the mental games of secrecy and grooming that characterize most childhood sexual abuse. Levine and Klein observe that while abusers may use…
Thanks to the wonders of multiple TV rights, UK viewers saw this episode last week. “Captive” departs from Law and Order tradition because the victim isn’t found dead at the start, but rather the “distraction actors” doing something totally unconnected to the crime, stumble upon a kidnapping that happens right in front of them. Post-credits,…
The Influencer World Is Still Insisting Happiness Is A Choice
This oversimplification is dangerous for all our mental health.
To All the Abused Kids Who Are Dealing with the Consequences as Adults…
Ask a Black therapist: 4 ways to support Black people’s mental health
The Man Who Scares Me Most Is Me. Will I Become A Monster, Too?
4 Experts Share Ideas For Restoring Mental Health In The Black Community
‘Break the silence’: Two Columbus men share their stories of sexual assault
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